Tuesday, June 23, 2009
The God Who Embraced Me
This essay orignially appeared as with National Public Radio's "This I Believe" series.
By John W. Fountain
I believe in God. Not that cosmic, intangible spirit-in-the-sky that Mama told me as a little boy “always was and always will be.”
But the God who embraced me when Daddy disappeared from our lives—from my life—at age 4, the night police led him away from our front door, down the stairs in handcuffs.
The God who warmed me when exhaust poured from our mouths inside our freezing apartment where the gas was disconnected in the dead of another wind-whipped Chicago winter, and there was no food, little hope, and no hot water.
The God who held my hand when I witnessed boys in my ‘hood swallowed by the elements—by death and by hopelessness—; Who claimed me when I felt like “no-man’s son,” amid the absence of any man in my life to wrap his arms around me and tell me, “everything’s going to be okay,” to speak proudly of me, to call me son.
I believe in God, the God who in all these times allowed me to feel His presence— whether by the sensation of warmth that filled my belly like hot chocolate on a cold afternoon, or whether it was that now familiar voice that rippled as do waves over a calm sea whenever I found myself in the tempest of life’s storms, telling me over and over and over again—even when I have been told I was “nothing,”—that I was something; That I was His; And that even amid the desertion of the man who gave me his name and DNA, and little else, I might find in Him sustenance and the substance of what children find in men who choose to be fathers.
I believe in God, the God who I have come to know as father; As Abba—Daddy.
I always envied boys I saw walking hand-in-hand with their fathers; I longed to stare eye to eye again into the face of the man whose name I bore; I thirsted for the intimate conversations fathers & sons have—about the birds & the bees, about things, or about nothing at all—simply feeling his breath, heartbeat, presence.
I could find no tears that Alabama winter’s evening in January 1979 as I stood finally—face to face—with my father lying cold in a casket, his eyes sealed, his heart no longer beating, his breath forever stilled. Killed in a car accident, he died drunk, leaving me at 18 inebriated by the sorrow of years of fatherless-ness.
It wasn’t until many years later, standing over his grave for a long overdue conversation—that as I told him about the man I had become, about how much I wished he had been in my life—that my tears flowed, as I realized fully that in his absence, I had found another. Or that He—God the Father—had found me.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Ghana Celebrates
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Illinois Poverty
Fountain was asked by Illinois Issues to write the second annual Paul Simon Essay. Fountain chose to write about poverty and the collective responsibility of the state’s citizens to the poor. His essay was the magazine’s cover story in May 2007. An accompanying multimedia presentation available on this page is a snapshot of the voices of Illinoisans Fountain interviewed in his chronicle of poverty from the state’s southern tip to Chicago. To view the multimedia presentation, please click on the Picture to the right below the heading, "Multimedia Presentation." To read Fountain's essay on Illinois Issues' Web site, please click here: POVERTYOne of a few businesses on "Main Street" in troubled Ford Heights, Ill., a south Chicago suburb, advertises liquor, lottery and groceries.
A house stands abandoned in impoverished Pembroke Township, Ill., where people still live in crumbling houses with caked-dirt floors, no running water and no natural gas pipline, about an hour's drive south of Chicago.
Boxes of food and clothes stand in the Church of the Cross in Pembroke Township, Ill., donated by middle class families in New York in a program called Family To Family, a grassroots non-profit group that aims to heal poverty.
There is poverty of the pocket.
And poverty of the soul.
Poverty of the spirit.
And poverty easy to behold.
Poverty that runs and festers
Like Langston’s Raisin in the Sun.
And poverty that lingers—
A brand of which the sum is
Only more poverty.
...I stand with one foot in each of two worlds. One in poverty, the other planted firmly in the American Dream. One man with one soul and one dream borne in two Americas. I stand forever—at least in the scenes that play over and over in my mind, like a grainy, black-and-white silent movie—on the impoverished block of 16th Street and Komensky Avenue, in a community called North Lawndale, still among the nation’s poorest, on Chicago’s West Side, in a place affectionately called K-Town...
A police camera atop a light pole flashes on a street corner on in North Lawndale on the West Side of Chicago where crime, drugs and violence are perennial problems.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Lasting Impressions...
Thursday, March 8, 2007
End Tour
On our last full day in Ghana, we toured the W.E. B. Du Bois Center and visted President John Kufuor, who lives in Ghana Castle. The seat of government, and akin to the White House in the United States, the castle is a former slave castle once used as a holding pen for Africans before they were shipped into slavery.
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Imagine...
A few feet from Cape Coast Castle, these Ghanaian fishers find life in the waters where death once swirled
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
The Red Carpet
The red carpet was literally laid out at the State House in Accra, Ghana, where foreign dignitaries, including a U.S. black Congressional delegation gathered Tuesday night in an exquisite setting. The occasion was the State Banquet commemorating Ghana's 50 year celebration of independence. The event was hosted by Ghana's President John Agyekum Kufor. Champagne wishes and caviar dreams? More like shrimp, or grilled snapper, ground nut soup with chicken, Kelewele--a ripe plantain chopped and mixed in with ginger cloves and pepper then fried--and Tiger nut pudding with exotic fruit salad, and of course, Champagne!
Now, for the second picture: This gentleman was among numerous men and women in ornate apparently ceremonial tribal dress who lined the red carpeted stairs leading to the State House.